Page 10. HIGH GEAR
Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland!
By Dennis Highland
I spent last evening at a most enjoyable gathering sponsored by the ADVOCATE national gay news magazine. The ostensible purpose of the party was mutual education: the ADVOCATE writers were there to learn about us, and we in turn were to learn about the ADVOCATE's future plans and present programs for the American gay community. While the.e, I entered into a conversation with the ADVOCATE's associate publisher, Peter Frisch. We talked about Cleveland, its bright spots and not-so-bright spots. This led me to think about how I honestly fee! about living in Ohio's largest metropolis; and coupling that with all the publicity we've been receiving of late, I thought this to be a propitious time to write a poem about Cleveland and my ambivalent attitude towards it. Besides, I've become rather tired of writing about gay responsibility and other moralistic topics, as undoubtedly you have; so I hope this will be as refreshing a change for you as it is for me. Here goes: Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland! Your problems are so great! Your people and your government are in a troubled state! Your streets are marred with potholes and your sidewalks filled with weeds,
While your sanitation workers aren't attending to your needs! Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland! This is a sorry time! Gray sludge pollutes your waters while your air is filled with grime. Crime overruns the city while police aren't getting paid, The city's almost bankrupt and it can expect no aid!
Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland! Education is a sham! We're turning out illiterates, and just don't give a damn! Your schools are overburdened with the courts and bussing, too. They haven't any money and they don't know what to do! Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland! Your leaders are at odds! The mayor is a lunatic, his aides are all young clods! One-half of city council is already on the take, And thus their clafin of innocence is clearly one big fake!
Oh, Cleveland! My Cleveland! Utilities are mad! Our Muny Light's a sorry joke, the water tastes so bad. The lawsuits and the bickering have made a big, fat mess. The end result is that we're paying more and getting less!
And Cleveland, Dear Cleveland, we'll soon have winter here.
Dull sex...
By Mitchell Menegu
"Getting lucky" used to mean, of course, receiving the benefits of good fortune, more specifically having picked up a trick and consumated a sexual relationship. We find now that getting lucky may, in fact, turn out to be most unfortunate. We know now that one must face the too real possibility of Dull Sex.
How has the specter of Dull Sex arisen to adulterate the unalloyed pleasure of anticipating sensual delights? What leads us to the preception of Dull Sex? What is Dull Sex? How can be avoid it?
One of the negative aspects of gay liberation is the apparent increased ease of engaging in sexual encounters. Before liberation, when we had to skulk about unsavory places furtively gaining satisfaction, all sex was good if we could get it. Now that we have our own places for encountering tricks including realistic duplications of unsavory places with four dollar cover charges the quantity of sex is not sufficient. Just getting it used to be enough. Now we have to concern ourselves with quality; hence the concept of • Dull Sex.
1
any, merely getting some was good. Increased activity facilitates comparison. Comparison results in qualitative judgments; hence we perceive Dull Sex.
But what, in practice, is it? Dull Sex is doing something that we've done before.
Dull Sex is not doing what we always do.
Dull Sex is a trick who ignores us the next time we meet.
Dull Sex is identical kerchiefs in identical pockets.
Dull Sex is tarnished handcuffs.
Dull Sex is Tiny Tim's voice in Burt Reynold's body.
Dull Sex is being asked, "What do you like to do?"
Dull Sex is a mating of the tortoise and the hare.
Dull Sex is someone who doesn't kiss on the first date -but does everything else no hands.
Dull Sex is being told, "This is better than doing it with a girl."
Dull Sex is someone who comes and goes.
Dull Sex is someone who comes and won't leave.
Such a list could be endless. If we are to avoid new definitions, we must be able to avoid Dull Sex Doing so is difWhen it was difficult to get ficult, but a few precautions may
With snow and ice and sleet and slush and storms that cause much Special
fear.
But we won't have all the snowplows which we need to clean the muck,
This fine administration has caused us to have this luck!
And Cleveland, My Cleveland, your suburbs just don't care. From North Olmsted on to Mayfield Heights, they act like you're not there.
Those people with their large, trimmed lawns and houses nice and
new,
Apparently don't realize that they all depend on you.
My Cleveland! Dear Cleveland! The city where I live.
Its citizens, both straight and gay, all have so much to give!
I love you dearly, Cleveland, with your history and pride,
And all of us must realize that we should be on your side.
So Cleveland, Dear Cleveland, what are we now to do? We just can't live our private lives and squelch our hopes for you. With all your headaches and your woes, you're still a fine old town. I promise, my dear Cleveland, that I'll never let you down! With all due respect to Walt Whitman, and fully realizing that he may be spinning madly in his grave now, I hope this provides our friends in San Francisco and elsewhere with some idea of the very unique type of love we have for our home. Untill next month, then. Have a nice holiday!
Pickwood Lounge
PIANO BAR FRI & FRI & SAT
10 TO 2:15
NEW YEAR'S PARTY SAT
6:00-2:30 daily except Sunday
11:633 Clifton, Cleveland H
help. Despite all the attractions he may offer, ignore the lure of anyone so bedecked with kerchifs that the signals are contradictory. Don't be tempted by the alleged virginity of one who comes on protesting, "This will be my first time." Allow anyone who uses a bar mirror for looking at himself instead of for cruising others to remain there admiring himseif, Be cautions of any potential trick whose conversation consists mainly of praise for the beauty, prowess and sexual imagination of his lover in another city. Forget about anyone wearing a T-shirt that proclaims either "Cut" or "Uncot." Don't be taken in by the hunk who, after describing how he spent the last season at Saint Tropez, asks if you're capable of rising above the unimaginativeness of all those sitting about you to plan a trip with him up the Amazon.
Ignore all of these suggestions if you haven't been getting any and an opportunity comes along. Even if it does turn out to be perish the thought -Dull Sex, at least the experience will enable you to say with conviction to the next obvious loser that approaches, "Please, I'd rather do it myself."
A Special Thank You for your support
in the successful effort to defeat Proposition 6 to the Greater Cleveland-Akron Gay Community. Special Thanks to The American Disco Satan's Den, Exedra, W. 32nd Street Club Baths, and the other bars and baths. for displaying posters. Our sincere apologies to the owners and patrons of the Stagecoach for our tardiness in arriving 25 minutes late.
Leonard Matlovich & Rick Lange for the Gay Trust
Weekdays 10 AM to 2 PM: Locker $2.00, Room $4.25
Monday & Wednesday, Youth Nights (25 & under): Locker $2.00 Room $4.25 Weekend Locker Special: $2.00 Sat. 8 AM 4 PM Sun. 8 AM Midnight Regular Weekend Rates: Locker $4.00 Room $6.75
BC
CLUB COLUMBUS
1575 EAST LIVINGSTON AVENUE
COLUMBUS OHIO
232-2474